Like with many things in life, you only get one shot at making a first impression in cold email marketing. If your email includes unprofessional markers like invasive or snobby language, your message is headed straight for the trash folder, along with your sales opportunity.
It may be tempting to play it casual, but you’re not just writing as yourself. You’re speaking on behalf of your business. And how you come across in that first message can mean the difference between getting a meeting or becoming another blocked sender.
This article explores unprofessional email examples that hurt your email marketing campaigns. More importantly, you’ll learn why they don’t work and how to fix them.
Personalization or Stalking?
Personalization is one of email marketing’s golden rules. The more you know about your prospect, their business, and needs, the more relevant and valuable your emails can be. But applying data enrichment doesn’t mean you should know what your prospect did for their family vacation or what gym they go to.
Unprofessional email example
Subject line: {{first name}}, how was {{vacation spot}}?
Hey, {{first name}},
Saw that you went to {{vacation spot}} for your honeymoon last month. I heard great things about it! Hope you and {{wife’s name}} had fun!
One of our clients actually goes there often since they have so much free time after delegating {{task}} to our {{service}}. I’d love to talk to you about how our service can help you get {{benefits}} and save you more time and resources.
Is this something you’d be interested in? I’d love to hear your thoughts! I could even give you a couple of nice vacation spots for your son’s next birthday on {{month}}.
Cheers,
{{your name}}
How to fix it
Subject line: {{first name}}, ready to get back to {{goal}}?
Hey, {{first name}},
I’ve been following you on LinkedIn for a while, and I always appreciate your insight on {{topic}}. Always sharp and to the point.
I also saw you’ve been away for a bit. Congrats, by the way. Hope it was a great break.
As you settle back into work priorities, I thought you might be interested in a new system we’ve developed specifically for professionals looking to achieve {{goal}}. It’s designed to {{specific benefit that addresses a known pain point}}.
I respect that your inbox is likely overflowing after the time away. When you have a moment, here's a brief case study showing how {{client}} achieved {{specific measurable result}} in just {{time frame}}: {{Link to Case Study}}
Would you be open to a 10-minute conversation about your {{goal}} objectives next week? No rush if you’re easing back into things. Just figured I’d pop this over in case it’s helpful.
Regards,
{{your name}}
Super Aggressive Hard Sell
In certain niches, being straightforward and transactional gets you the reply. But even in those spaces, being super aggressive with your hard sell comes off extremely rude.
Unprofessional email example
Subject line: {{first name}}, there’s only one solution for {{company name}}
Hey {{first name}},
Look, {{company name}} needs {{your service}}. Nothing else you’re considering will get you results like we can—period.
You can keep shopping around, but you’re just wasting time and money. Let’s stop the guessing game and move forward.
Waiting for your yes,
{{your name}}
How to fix it
Subject line: {{first name}, exploring solutions for {{company name}}?
Hey {{first name}},
I won’t dance around it. {{your service}} could be a real accelerator for {{company name}}. From what I’ve seen, most teams in your position spend way too much time testing solutions that don’t move the needle.
We’ve helped companies in your space skip the guesswork and get right to results. If you're even considering improving {{problem area}}, this is worth a quick look.
I’d be happy to show you exactly what that would look like. Let me know if you’re up for a quick chat.
All the best,
{{your name}}
Your Company Sucks But We Can Help You
One of the fastest ways to lose a prospect’s trust is by making them feel like their company is failing without you. Coming in with a "Your company sucks, but we can save you" energy is not just unprofessional—it’s disrespectful.
Unprofessional email example
Subject line: {{first name}}, do you still care about {{company name}}?
Hey {{first name}},
It’s pretty obvious that {{company name}} isn’t scaling the way it should, and honestly, that’s on you. If the right strategies were in place, you wouldn’t be stuck hitting the same walls over and over.
Luckily, {{your company}} specializes in fixing the mistakes companies make when they try to grow without the right help. Let’s be real: without serious changes, it’s only going to get worse.
Let’s talk about how we can clean this up before it’s beyond repair.
Thanks in advance,
{{your name}}
How to fix it
Subject line: {{first name}}, {{goal}} for {{company name}}?
Hey {{first name}},
I’ve been following what {{company name}} is doing in {{industry}}, and there’s clearly a lot of potential there. That’s why I wanted to reach out.
We’ve worked with teams at a similar stage of growth and helped them unlock new ways to scale without adding more pressure to the team or budget. A few strategic shifts made all the difference.
If you’re open to it, I’d love to share how we helped {{client}} grow {{result}} in {{time frame}}. It might spark some ideas for {{company name}} too.
Let me know if that sounds good. Happy to send something over.
Best,
{{your name}}
This is an example of a cold email you want to start with during drip campaigns. It’s valuable, focuses on prospects’ needs, and gauges interest.
You’re Lucky I Even Bothered
Sales psychology teaches us to sell our products or services as an exclusive. People naturally want access to things that feel valuable, limited, or tailored just for them. But exclusivity should be framed around building a partnership, not making the other party feel inferior.
Unprofessional email example
Subject line: Consider this your lucky break, {{first name}}
Hey {{first name}},
I don’t usually reach out to companies like {{company name}}, but I figured I’d give you a shot.
The truth is, most businesses in your space aren’t even worth the effort. But maybe you’re different.
At {{your company}}, we only work with brands that have real potential (even if they’re not showing it yet). If you’re smart enough to realize the opportunity you’re being given here, let’s talk. Otherwise, no hard feelings—just don’t expect this kind of chance to come around again.
{{your name}}
How to fix it
Subject line: a limited opportunity for {{company name}}Hi {{first name}},
I don’t usually reach out cold, but when I come across a team like {{company name}}, I make an exception. From what I’ve seen, there’s real potential here to do something different, given your strong fit for {{services}}.
At {{your company}}, we’re selective with who we work with because we put serious time and focus into every partnership. That’s why we look for brands that are ready to level up with {{strategy for relevant field}}.
If that sounds like you, I’d love to share a few ideas on how we can help you unlock {{benefit}} in {{timeframe}}. No pressure—just a solid opportunity if it’s the right fit.
All the best,
{{your name}}
I Know Your Business Better Than You
Building a business from the ground up isn't an easy feat. A lot of business owners are deeply attached to what they've built, and attacking that only leads to defensiveness, damaged trust, and lost opportunities.
Unprofessional email example
Subject line: {{first name}}, let me show you what you’re doing wrong
Hey {{first name}},
I’ve seen enough businesses like {{company name}} to know when things aren’t working—and trust me, they’re not. It’s nothing personal.
Most owners are just too close to the problem to see it clearly. If you’re ready to hear some hard truths (and actually fix them), let’s set up a call.
Regards,
{{your name}}
How to fix it
Subject line: exploring new growth paths for {{company name}}Hi {{first name}},
Running a business like {{company name}} takes vision, and it’s clear you’ve already built something with real potential.
That said, I often find that even high-performing teams hit a point where outside perspective can provide new clarity and momentum.
We’ve worked with {{similar companies}} in {{relevant specific areas}} to refine what’s already working and remove friction points that slow growth.
If you're open to a quick conversation, I’d love to share a few ideas that might help accelerate {{goal}}.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts,
{{your name}}
What NOT to Include in Your Cold Emails
Sometimes, we come off as unprofessional without even realizing it. If you’re looking to make a great first impression in your cold email or omnichannel outreach campaigns, here are five subtle issues to watch out for:
Unprofessional Subject Lines
Avoid slang, clickbait, or anything that sounds like spam. Your subject line sets the tone for your entire message. So, avoid subject lines that look like the following:
"This Is Your Last Chance!!!"
"Open Now for a Crazy Surprise!"
"You’re Doing It All Wrong"
"Hey Buddy, You Need This"
Not only do these subject lines reek of desperation, but they also damage your credibility. Aim for professionalism and a hint of relevance to spark interest.
Inappropriate Sending Accounts
Sending cold emails from a personal Gmail, Yahoo, or any unbranded domain instantly looks unprofessional. It can also trigger spam filters and hurt your deliverability. Always send cold emails from a professional, verified alternate domain that matches your business name.
Information on Prospects’ Private Lives
Commenting on a prospect’s personal vacations, family members, or social media posts, especially if you don’t have an existing relationship, feels invasive and creepy. Stick to business-related observations that show you’ve done thoughtful research, not stalking.
Overly Aggressive or Desperate Language
Phrases like "Act now or regret it forever!" or "Sign today or lose everything!" make your email feel pushy and untrustworthy. Professional outreach is confident but never desperate. You want to offer value and start a conversation, not pressure someone into making a rushed decision.
Heavy Negative Framing
Pointing out everything wrong with a prospect’s business or implying they’re failing without your help instantly puts people on the defensive. Instead, frame your message around opportunities for improvement, growth, and collaboration. You’re offering to help them reach their goals, not criticize what they’ve built.
A Better Way to Send Cold Emails With Instantly.ai
If you’ve made any of the unprofessional email mistakes above, don’t stress. Most people do at some point. Someone gets called the wrong name, a template doesn’t get fully customized, or worse, you accidentally reference something too personal from their LinkedIn. It happens.
Writing a cold email that’s thoughtful, professional, and compelling isn’t easy, much less when you’re doing it at scale. We created Instantly.ai for this exact reason.
Instead of guessing what works, you can start with proven templates and sequences that are already getting results in real campaigns.
Our template library isn’t just your standard “Hey {{name}}” drivel. It includes situation-specific templates with language that’s been tested across thousands of campaigns. No more staring at the screen wondering if your email sounds desperate or pushy.
With Instantly.ai, you can write up hundreds of messages that feel like it was written just for that one person without spending hours on it. We’re committed to helping you get it right from the start. Try Instantly today at zero cost!
Key Takeaways
Unprofessional emails don’t just cost you a prospect. They also hurt your deliverability, sender reputation, and can even get you added to a global blocklist. To recap, here are a few practices to avoid if you don’t want to sound unprofessional in your emails:
- Slang or clickbait subject lines: It makes your email look like spam.
- Personal email addresses: Always use a professional domain.
- Referencing private life details: It feels invasive and untrustworthy.
- Pushing too hard for a sale: Aggressive language kills trust.
- Sounding desperate: Confidence wins, desperation repels.
- Criticizing their business: It puts prospects on the defensive.
- Making unrealistic promises: Guarantees you can't deliver and ruins credibility.
Ready to scale your email campaigns without coming across as unprofessional? Start your free Instantly trial today!
